Rock, paper, scissors…

I really probably shouldn’t do this whole dating thing, period. I’m not good at it, I don’t like the whole getting-to-know-you dance, and frankly, most of the time it makes me want to puke. That said, I’ve met three guys very recently that I should be interested in, but the truth is, I’m just really not…ok, well maybe I’m interested in the Firefighter…and possibly the Professor, but not really the Greek. What a difference a week makes. Last week I was feeling heartbroken at the prospect that I would never find anyone and that I was more than likely doomed to spend my days alone, but this week, I have a lunch date with the Professor on Thursday, breakfast with the Firefighter on Sunday, and am busy dodging emails from the Greek because I don’t want to be mean.

It’s like a dating version of rock, paper, scissors… All these guys are very different: the Firefighter is older, has rugged good looks that rival the Brawny paper towel guy, is down-to-earth, is incredibly interesting and just plain nice, and appears to be very comfortable in his own skin…plus, he’s a firefighter, how hot is that (pardon the pun)…the Professor is a little younger, is incredibly cute, seems very sweet and genuine…plus, he’s got a PhD in Chemistry, and I don’t care what anyone says, smart is sexy in my book…the Greek is established in his career, is also cute, and seems nice enough, so what’s wrong with me?

I know I could fall hard for the Firefighter (moment of disclosure, when he sent me a text out of the blue yesterday just to say he hoped I was having a great day, the first knee-jerk thought that came into my head was “I’ve been waiting for you all my life, thank God you finally found me”) so I’m really resistant to even getting to know this guy better. I’ve been disappointed so many times, my heart has been through enough and I don’t want to fall hard for anyone, ever again. The Professor is smart and seems nice enough, I could probably fall for him too, given some time, but ever since I agreed to lunch, I’ve had a stomach ache. Not the butterflies-in-the-stomach kind, the kind that makes me want to puke. And the Greek, well, I’m becoming less inclined to even give this guy a chance. We have very similar interests and I think we’d probably hit it off, but I can’t see myself falling for him and I’m done adding men to my roster of friends because that never seems to work out for me when they’re single.

So why the resistance and stomach ache? Is it because I’m not ready to date? Is it because I don’t want to get my hopes up again, only to be hurt and disappointed in the end? I’m asking because I really don’t know. I do know that rock beats scissors, the paper beats rock and that scissors beats paper…hmmm, maybe this is much more like a game of rock paper scissors than I originally thought. I don’t want my heart smashed, covered up, or cut to pieces…maybe I need to forget about the Firefighter, the Professor and the Greek and just take my Rockem Sockem Robots down off the shelf instead…